fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
porn star boner night. come get it.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
