First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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