Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
