i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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