oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
