He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
