I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
