if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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