And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize