the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
