im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
