we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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