This girl is more easily done than said...
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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