You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
