I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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