Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
