the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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