why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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