Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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