Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
