He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
