is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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