So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
