So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
