So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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