There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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