if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
