Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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