put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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