i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
