So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
