is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
