she looked like the before picture.
is wine microwaveable?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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