You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
