chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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