she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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