how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
