I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
