fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
