Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
