I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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