If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
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