wanna go halves on a baby?
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
