Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
