i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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