i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
