Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
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