no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
