I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
