two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
