Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
