Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
