I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
