what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
