He disabled his match.com account in front of me
her vagine was all disorganized.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
