When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
