hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
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