I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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