I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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