As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
