somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
