...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize