just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize