He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
