so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
