i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
