they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
