Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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