What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
