i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
