Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize