It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I have aggressive nipples.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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