Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
