bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
